It’s been awhile. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Well it’s been sometime before I posted last. Good note. Headaches stopped.  Bad note. No idea why I was getting them. So get this:

Doctor says it’s stress and allergies

ER doctor said it was from stopping coffee 

Chiropractor says it’s called Upper Cross and from sitting at work all day

Neurologist said it’s Anxiety

Psychiatrist says it’s my Bipolar

Sooooooo in other words. No one knows. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Well I stopped getting them. But I’m back on lithium for my bipolar. I realized that no matter how aware I am of my bipolar and no matter how understanding I am I just cannot control it. So I’m back on lithium and we shall see. It’s helping quiet my mind a little bit. Leaving me feel less and less like a schizophrenic. I guess one day at a time. 

Laters ❀️

CBD is a yes for meΒ 

Day 3. The bodies are starting to stink. Just kidding.  But I betcha I got someone’s attention. 😝 anywho day three of the CBD oil. Still no headaches. I had a set of anxiety today but my ears got clogged for some random reason causing severe pressure so I assumed it was something else wrong with my brain. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ 

My hubby calls me a hypochondriac. He’s kinda right. Well I don’t think there’s things wrong with me. I freak out there may be. Is that the same thing!? I don’t know. But anywho. The CBD oil has been wonderful. God is amazing as always. I’m excited for the oral CBD oil to come tomorrow. 

Ps. The clogged sinuses were from blowing the vape through my nose. lol apparently I have super skinny sinus ducts. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ #lessonlearned My Indian name shall be “blow through mouth” 

Laters. ❣️

πŸ™ŒπŸΌ Day 2 of CBD πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

Ok so this morning and throughout th  day I have been taking CBD oil through the vape. I feel amazing. I feel stress free, happy, no headaches, calm and just amazing. Praise the Lord. I give thanks to the Lord first because I got down on my knees last night and cried after my last blog and begged for Mercy for pain releif. πŸ™πŸΌ

I don’t know if it’s the placebo effect or if it’s the CBD itself but I feel awesome today. Everyone else has even commented on how I am acting and I seem more relaxed. I give it to God first though. Because He is the one that made this happen. He created the plant. He created the people that cultivated the plant and those that found Out what CBDs do. 

Thank you Father. Please allow this to continue. 

Laters. πŸ’•
Ps. If you’re still skeptical of what marijuana and hemp can do please take the blinders off and for one second look past what it does to you. Yes people get high from it but it has so many medicinal properties and reasons behind it also!!! 

CBD might be for me…..

So I’ve been miserable. For over a month now. I started with headaches over a month ago that gradually increased to migraines. I guess I have a moderate to small amount of stress but extremely high anxiety. I count two anxiety attacks within the last month and a half. It’s been a rough few weeks. The migraines are horrible. I’m deathly afraid I have a tumor. “it’s not a tumor”  I’ve been wanting to use that. Anyways.
 All jokes aside I’ve been to the doctor and then the ER. The migraines won’t subside. But they aren’t always migraines. They’re tension headaches, stress headaches and also anxiety headaches. Doc said it was stress and allergies. ER said it was a combo of it all. Chiropractor says it’s my back. So I got adjusted. Have to do these Exercises for “upper cross” as he called it. Computer or Tech neck.

 Apparently it’s society today. I sit at a conputer for 8 hours. Then I did 4 years of schoolwork. I played video games and have an iPad and a cell phone. My own fault. Anywho. So after like six prescriptions, a call to the neurologist (who isn’t available until September) im laying here with a splitting headache. I’ve been taking magnesium, Omega-3, imitrex and muscle relaxers as neeed and the typical naproxen or excedrin migraine. Still hours later a headache. I literally want to rip my skull off. It’s horrible. 

Me being me, googled other treatments.  I can’t smoke weed anymore. I have anxiety attacks. No matter the strain or the type. I’ve tried both sativas and indicas as well as hybrid. All good grade stuff. Even Reggie is out of the question. CBD for anxiety. So side note, I’m praying it’s still not a tumor but I’m pretty sure it’s my anxiety. It’s ridiculous. I start to hyperventilate for no reason. 

So I bought a bottle of CBD oil tonight. I think it’s only like 100mg which is a lower dosage but I can work my way up. I bought the vape juice instead of the edibles. Just because I don’t trust endibles from a tobacco store. Lol  r commended dosage is 20mg to start. My husband filled up the tank and I puffed away. Now I know I don’t get high. That’s why I wanted it. And I’ve read I won’t feel the effects of CBD immediately as most don’t but over time it will show. 
However after a long day of anxiety and headaches I started to feel relaxed and the headaches was there but more tolerable. I must have taken 15 hits before anything. I got giggly but could be the placebo effect. But I stopped. An hour later boom. Massive headache back and even worse. So I said ok a few puffs and I’m going to bed. Well there’s nothing major happening yet but I have my hopes high. I felt a small effect from a small dosage so who knows what the higher dosages will do. 100mg is very low dose but if I start low I might not need as much as long as it’s a constant. We shall see. 

Say some prayers for me that this helps anxiety because I hate medicine and that the headaches ceases immediately. Love you guys that actually read these. 

Laters. πŸ’š (because green is appropriate right now πŸ˜‰)

Anxiety is going to be the death of me πŸ’€β˜ οΈ

Ok so I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder March if last year. I went on Ativan and it helped. Of course. However I quickly needed more and more. I became addicted. Not as in a high but because the anxiety wouldn’t stop. My body needed higher dosage to help the anxiety. 

I finally weened myself off. After a quick cold turkey try that went horribly wrong. Please don’t ever quit Ativan cold turkey. It could kill you. 

So I went by for about 8 months. No anxiety. No issues. Nothing. Until last week. I started having the tightness of my chest agin. Then the migraines set it. Then the constant shakiness, th and feeling they something is extremely wrong with me medically otherwise. Then my father in law passed away Saturday. It’s been one shitty Memorial Day weekened. So the anxiety got worse. I started having severe pain in my upper left abdomn. So yeah I thought my spleen or pancreas was going to burst. I could barely walk from the pain. I couldn’t sleep. At all. Every single time I’d dose off I’d jolt awake and scare myself. I kept having the  thought  I was falling. Now I just get the random pains in my chest and my chest is tight. I have tried taking warm baths, hot showers, cold showers, lavender, pure magnesium, eating more yogurt and most of all my breathing exercises. Nothing was helping. I frantically searched my house last night and found my Ativan. I’m not extremely 100% better but I will say it helped. Immediately. I don’t want to be on this medicine. I read what it does to our bodies. A little background for you I hate pills. I don’t like that pharmaceutically made junk in my body. God didn’t intend for it to be put ther so neither do I. I got off the Ativan once. I know I don’t need it. But does anything have any other permanent solutions??? I’d be greatful. 

Laters. ❣️

Grief

It’s strange how losing someone close to you makes you realize stuff. God Bless the man we lost today and that he continues on with his legacy above. We will miss you dearly. For the Lord has decided it’s your time and although we will never know why or how we must continue on. You were my father after I lost my father. You have accomplished great things in life and you shall continue to remain in our hearts. ❀️

For it is always later and never goodbye πŸ’•

Thoughts πŸ’­ and how to stop them……

So my mind has been alllllll over the place. Anyone else get overly “thinkative”. Totally not a word but I like it so I’m sticking with it. I quit coffee. Not for ever, but I realized I needed to cut back. Cafe Bustelo is my weakness. 2 cups a day to cold turkey. Big damn mistake. Caffeine withdrawal is really a b****. So yeah. First came the headache. Next came the irritability. Then the insomnia and lastly the anxiety. Now my brain won’t shut the fudge up. It’s all over the place. Now I have been having thoughts about who knows what all day. Thoughts of me dying. Thoughts of me having cancer. Thoughts of things happening to my son or my husband…. it’s ridiculous. 

Ok seriously brain. sometimes this brain needs to literally just stop working overtime. Like 8-5 is good enough for me. But this brain decides it wants to work overtime everyday. I can’t. Is it just the caffeine withdrawal or what? I can’t seem to relax. I think it’s anxiety but not sure. My thought process cracks me up though. Who else can go from thinking of giraffes to potentially losing their dog to a bear attack!! This girl! So my question is how do I calm this brain down. I know it’s a lot of reasons right now but how do you stop your brain from over thinking. Anyone out there have any idea!!! Any suggestions are helpful. 

Laters. πŸ–€