It’s been awhile. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Well it’s been sometime before I posted last. Good note. Headaches stopped.  Bad note. No idea why I was getting them. So get this:

Doctor says it’s stress and allergies

ER doctor said it was from stopping coffee 

Chiropractor says it’s called Upper Cross and from sitting at work all day

Neurologist said it’s Anxiety

Psychiatrist says it’s my Bipolar

Sooooooo in other words. No one knows. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Well I stopped getting them. But I’m back on lithium for my bipolar. I realized that no matter how aware I am of my bipolar and no matter how understanding I am I just cannot control it. So I’m back on lithium and we shall see. It’s helping quiet my mind a little bit. Leaving me feel less and less like a schizophrenic. I guess one day at a time. 

Laters ❀️

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Being let down…

Give it to God, Let it go.

Sometimes the ones you love are the ones that have a tendency to let you down. It hurts right? It’s rough. You expect those that are close to never do that to you. You expect more. We feel betrayed and hurt and left out and unloved. 

I have two options at this point. I can hold a grudge, remain mad 😑 and hold ill feelings inside. It makes you feel angry holding onto it. It makes you feel upset and for me it produces anxiety. Or I can chose the other option; I can give it to God and let it go. I have taken care of it myself. I have asked Him to help me let it go and allow the just to he treated fairly. Sometimes it’s hard to let it go. Trust me. Letting it go is much healthier both mentally and physically and emotionally than not letting it go. 

So if you hold ill feelings towards another for being wronged, let it go. 

🎼 🎀🎡🎢 ❄️❄️ Let it Go, Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore. β„οΈβ„οΈπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅

Laters. πŸ’™πŸ’œ

Thoughts πŸ’­ and how to stop them……

So my mind has been alllllll over the place. Anyone else get overly “thinkative”. Totally not a word but I like it so I’m sticking with it. I quit coffee. Not for ever, but I realized I needed to cut back. Cafe Bustelo is my weakness. 2 cups a day to cold turkey. Big damn mistake. Caffeine withdrawal is really a b****. So yeah. First came the headache. Next came the irritability. Then the insomnia and lastly the anxiety. Now my brain won’t shut the fudge up. It’s all over the place. Now I have been having thoughts about who knows what all day. Thoughts of me dying. Thoughts of me having cancer. Thoughts of things happening to my son or my husband…. it’s ridiculous. 

Ok seriously brain. sometimes this brain needs to literally just stop working overtime. Like 8-5 is good enough for me. But this brain decides it wants to work overtime everyday. I can’t. Is it just the caffeine withdrawal or what? I can’t seem to relax. I think it’s anxiety but not sure. My thought process cracks me up though. Who else can go from thinking of giraffes to potentially losing their dog to a bear attack!! This girl! So my question is how do I calm this brain down. I know it’s a lot of reasons right now but how do you stop your brain from over thinking. Anyone out there have any idea!!! Any suggestions are helpful. 

Laters. πŸ–€