Anxiety is going to be the death of me ðŸ’€â˜ ï¸

Ok so I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder March if last year. I went on Ativan and it helped. Of course. However I quickly needed more and more. I became addicted. Not as in a high but because the anxiety wouldn’t stop. My body needed higher dosage to help the anxiety. 

I finally weened myself off. After a quick cold turkey try that went horribly wrong. Please don’t ever quit Ativan cold turkey. It could kill you. 

So I went by for about 8 months. No anxiety. No issues. Nothing. Until last week. I started having the tightness of my chest agin. Then the migraines set it. Then the constant shakiness, th and feeling they something is extremely wrong with me medically otherwise. Then my father in law passed away Saturday. It’s been one shitty Memorial Day weekened. So the anxiety got worse. I started having severe pain in my upper left abdomn. So yeah I thought my spleen or pancreas was going to burst. I could barely walk from the pain. I couldn’t sleep. At all. Every single time I’d dose off I’d jolt awake and scare myself. I kept having the  thought  I was falling. Now I just get the random pains in my chest and my chest is tight. I have tried taking warm baths, hot showers, cold showers, lavender, pure magnesium, eating more yogurt and most of all my breathing exercises. Nothing was helping. I frantically searched my house last night and found my Ativan. I’m not extremely 100% better but I will say it helped. Immediately. I don’t want to be on this medicine. I read what it does to our bodies. A little background for you I hate pills. I don’t like that pharmaceutically made junk in my body. God didn’t intend for it to be put ther so neither do I. I got off the Ativan once. I know I don’t need it. But does anything have any other permanent solutions??? I’d be greatful. 

Laters. ❣️