Sitting here. By myself. Husband doesn’t come. Son didn’t wanna come. Almost hid in the kids classroom until it was time to start Wednesday night classes for the 3rd and 5th graders. Decided I need to stop being a hermit. I figured I’d look like a fool sitting by myself. But I’m not a fool. It makes me strong. Plus there are plenty of others. It’s a step in a different direction for me. I already stepped outside my box and decided to volunteer at church. That was a very big step for me. I’m a hermit. A recluse. I have a hard time being around people. Social anxiety. Plus they seem sort of clicks sometimes. It makes ya feel kind of weird. Not belonging. However I have to tell myself I’m not here for the people. I’m here to become closer to God. To serve Him. For Him.
I have to stop caring what people think of me. What I think people see when they look at me.
It never matters. It doesn’t change me. It doesn’t make me any different. It doesn’t make me less or more of a person. In the end I’m still me. Ashley. Bipolar. A little crazy. Possibly two personalities. Heck maybe more. Who knows! 🤷🏻♀️
So If you’re like me. Stop caring. 🛑 just be you. Embrace it. Learn to control it. But love yourself. No matter who you are.
Merry Christmas y’all.
Keep knocking. Persistently and shamelessly knock on Gods door. Consistently ask for what you want and you shall receive. I’m horrible at praying. I can’t remember to. I can’t seem to find the right time or I should say make time because I’m always tied up in a video game, Work or just plain lazy.
My vow is to keep asking for what I need and thanking Him for what he’s already given me.
I ask for the mindset I need. I’m not asking to NOT be bipolar anymore. I think the Lord has blessed me with this mind for a reason. I am bipolar mania and I married my husband who I’m pretty sure is bipolar depressive. Opposites attract right? 😆 sometimes we are completely on different ends but every once in awhile we meet in the middle. Those moments are amazing!
Hopefully one day I’ll learn to manage my mouth, my thoughts, and whatever else seems to need managing.
Give it to God, Let it go.
Sometimes the ones you love are the ones that have a tendency to let you down. It hurts right? It’s rough. You expect those that are close to never do that to you. You expect more. We feel betrayed and hurt and left out and unloved.
I have two options at this point. I can hold a grudge, remain mad 😡 and hold ill feelings inside. It makes you feel angry holding onto it. It makes you feel upset and for me it produces anxiety. Or I can chose the other option; I can give it to God and let it go. I have taken care of it myself. I have asked Him to help me let it go and allow the just to he treated fairly. Sometimes it’s hard to let it go. Trust me. Letting it go is much healthier both mentally and physically and emotionally than not letting it go.
So if you hold ill feelings towards another for being wronged, let it go.
🎼 🎤🎵🎶 ❄️❄️ Let it Go, Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore. ❄️❄️🎶🎵