Screw sleep. #esoislife
So what’s the “norm” or “etiquette” for blogging? Are you allowed to blog once a day? Or is this anytime I’m bored? Or when I have something to say? Who cares? This is my blog so fu** it. I’ll do what I want.
So I’m a Christian. A crappy one. But (yes I know you don’t start a sentence with but either). ….ok pause… let me get this off my chest first. I know the English language. I understand grammar. I am a grammar nazi, however; this is MY blog and if I wanna use piss poor grammar I will. Thanks. Anyways…. back to me being a crappy Christian. Well I am. I believe in God. I believe Jesus is the messiah. I goto church. However i consistently fall short of being a good Christian. Thankfully the Father forgives.
Ok so there’s that. So about my borderline personality disorder. It’s something I’d never wish on my own worst enemy. Living this lif is…well as my husband says…never a dull moment.
I have these severely intense emotions. I call it just being empathetic. However it consumes me. I really want to hurt things sometimes. I want to break stuff. I want to punch shit. Yeah. Little ole me. It’s like this completely other person at time. How do you control an uncontrollable rage? *sigh* my life is exhausting.
Time for church. Laters. 💖
Holy shit! I had this super long post and WordPress decided not to save it. So nooooow you get the even shorter version. Ugh.
Well I’m 36. Living with Borderline Personality Disorfer since I was 17. My mom hated me. We love each other now though. It’s ok guys. Really.
My sons failing school. My husband won’t finish my office. My dog has severe anxiety. I can’t sleep anywhere in the house because everyone snores. I have two degrees I don’t even wanna use. I have a weird addiction to only 1 video game. Elder Scrolls online. No one is even gonna read this probably. I love talking to everyone.
My BPD makes me “crazy”….oh excuse me for those sensitive people out there..let’s call it…. .nah screw that. I’m sticking with crazy. Get over yourself. Anywho.
I figured this was my out. My way to express my life and fix it. Maybe!? Everyone says write in a journal. Why do I wanna cramp my hand up by writing when I can give my thumbs their own personal carpal tunnel syndrome instead? Yes. Perfect. My left wrist had cramped three times already.
Oh yeah I’m an Army Veteran. Only 6 years. I’m proud of it but I don’t flaunt it. It’s over so I moved on. I’ve been mentally unstable since I was about ohhhhh… 17 maybe? Maybe soon I’ll give you a part of my life that explains a day in the life of the crazy girl….. then again maybe not.
Maybe one day I’ll look back at this and laugh….or cringe. Until then…laters. 💖